More Paperwork?????

You know this cartoon is kinda how I am feeling about this adoption process. AHHHHH!!! I just realized our fingerprints are going to expire on January 9, 2008. We need valid fingerprints to get his visa. We received an email from our adoption agency with the subject line of "Next Steps". In order to process his visa paperwork at the Ethiopian embassy we have to fill out more good 'ole USA government forms. So it's back to the United States Citizenship and Immigration website to download more forms!!!! Will it ever end???!!!!! But nevertheless, we will continue to jump through hoops to get to our little boy.

Gifts for Geremu

Once you accept an adoption referral you can send a gallon sized ziplock bag to the orphanage for your child. (Of course I had to use the jumbo sized bag). Two friends bought gifts for him as soon as I found out about the referral, a cute blanket toy and a soft cuddly blanket. Thanks S. and P.! K., a co-worker who works part-time at an embroidery shop, placed his birth name on the items and I sent them over along with a photo album of pictures of us. Thanks K.! Our little buddy A. can't go to Target without wanting to buy something for the new baby. So she told her mommy that he needs bibs and a toy. Her mother has warned us that she is not going broke buying things for our child! An ESOL teacher at the school gave me my first BABIES R US Gift Card for Christmas. Thanks K., I am saving it to buy him a special first outfit :-) A family of a student I teach bought him an adorable snowsuit. Thanks C. Family! My mother lives in MD, but one of my VA "moms" bought him a cute little giraffe rocking toy and placed it under her tree for Christmas. Everyone who went to her house over the holidays asked about the toy she had under her tree. Her response was ...it's for Seth! Our little guy is not even here yet, but he is well loved and has his first Christmas gifts!

The Cat's Out of the Bag

When I got the adoption referral on Wed. my co- worker, who also happened to be my student teacher a few years ago was the first person I told at work. No one else at work knew until today when my friend who moved to Arkansas sent me a beautiful fruit arrangement with a balloon attached that said "It's a Boy!". (Leave it to her, always looking for the WOW factor) Of course the questions started in the office, and the principal called my room to see if I had heard something and had not shared with her. So I just emailed the staff to let everyone know. My teammates and I enjoyed the fruit during team planning!

Thanksgiving in the Mountains

We have had a timeshare in Massanutten VA for more than 10 years and have never been to visit since the day we decided to buy in. Since Daddy and Mommy are retired, Mommy has decided to use it as much as she can. This Thanksgiving she thought it would be nice for the whole family to spend Thanksgiving there. They got there on Monday and the rest of us came later in the week. By Thanksgiving Day we had all arrived and we were able to share a picture of the newest member of the family. I think we all ate too much but we had a nice time.
The day after Thanksgiving instead of shopping, we went to an indoor waterpark. I probably would have enjoyed shopping more but my better half had a great time with his nephews. Of course we couldn't help to reflect on the fact that next year at Thanksgiving there will be one more little person added to the family.

It's A Boy!!!!!!!!

We got the call today!!!! Well actually he got the call and then he called me. I happened to be sitting at my desk since it was a half day. He said well we got the call....I said what!!?? He said hold on and I will put you on three way. The referral is for an adorable 4 1/2 month old infant boy born on July 1, 2007.
His name is Geremu Asefa. The name Geremu means I am amazed. The agency told us it will probably be an additional twelve weeks until we get to fly to Ethiopia and pick him up. We are unable to post a picture of him on the internet until we receive a birth certificate naming us as the parents. If you don't live close to us and haven't seen his picture, take our word for it, he is ADORABLE!! Oh boy! So much to do.....Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and we are TRULY THANKFUL!!!!!!

The Adoptive Mother~ (soon that will be me!)

Well, we have now been waiting for almost 7 months. On the agency's unofficial list of parents waiting for referrals we are # 3...so perhaps in the next few weeks we will get that life altering phone call.

A member of the adoption forum found this article and shared it~

Being an adoptive mother is not for every woman. She must possess not only the natural mother instinct but an understanding and appreciation of the situation that brought a child into her arms making her a mother. The adoptive family came to be by choices made, choices made by the first parents and by the adoptive parents. This bond the adoptive mother has with her child grows over time, like the child did within his first mother’s womb. Day by day, touch by touch, with each tear, kiss, and memory made they became a family. Adoptive mothers have that special knack to let love grow.

An adoptive mother knows that she’s a mender of wounds, not just of the physical skinned knees with a band-aid and a kiss, but of the heart. She gives love, acceptance, and permission to ask and talk about the day the child was born and of his first parents.

Adoptive mothers are embracers, not only of the child with many hugs and kisses, but of the child’s heritage and history. She embraces the facts of her child’s past with strength for herself and the child.

She’s not only a memory maker planning family vacations, activities, and birthday parties, but also a memory keeper. Details of a birth, photos, and of the parents who brought the child into the world are kept along side the newspaper clipping that announced it all. All these things are kept in a special book that tells the whole story.

She’s a tier of shoelaces and of hearts. She weaves lives together into a tapestry of a new family, with many different brightly, colored threads showcasing their individualities and family origins. Together they create one unit attached to each other.

Adoptive mothers are experts at finding lost objects, but understand and validate the profound, deep loss left by adoption. She allows the tears to fall and grief to be felt, allowing the mourning of the mom not there. She is secure in knowing that she’s not a replacement, but a finisher of a race for someone who, for whatever reason, could not run any longer.

This role is not for the weak of spirit, or the easily wounded. Loving a child not born to her but calling him her own, but this is what she does, it is her calling. She is a mother.

And still we wait...

One misconception people have about people who do not have children is that they have lots of time on their hands. If that were the case, we would have the garage and basement cleaned out and be twiddling our thumbs awaiting the arrival of our bundle of joy.
But since that is not the case, this week was a particularly busy one... I had report cards to do, as well as plan a surprise bridal shower and serve as "wedding coordinator" for a secret wedding for our friend S.R.G. She found her true love and the two of them are riding off into the sunset as husband and wife...well not really...they are driving to Arkansas to start their new life together. (the driving off into the sunset just sounded a bit more romantic)

We wish them all the best! We know that they will be fine as along as they remember- Marriage takes three- husband, wife and Jesus Christ.

Trick or Treat!

Since we know we will eventually get the call,even though we don't know when, we spend a lot of time reflecting on the changes that will come into our lives. Today is Halloween and of course regardless of your feelings on it- children love dressing up and getting candy. Next year,I will have a little person or persons with me when I answer the door to hand out candy or I will actually have to go Trick or Treating with children in tow. But until that time gets here, my favorite little trick or treater came over to show me her costume and get a few pieces of candy.

Ellis Land Can Be Pretty Scary at Halloween!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

and wait...

Today our church congregation, led by our pastor Rev. Ellis, walked to the site where our new church will be built. It was a gorgeous fall day for a stroll down Minnieville Road.

While we wait...

There are tons of things we need to be doing while we wait for our call. We need to clean out our garage and basement to make way for all of the things children bring into a house.

But are we??.....Of course not!
We celebrated dad's 80th Birthday on September 8.
We all can only hope to look as good when we are 80!

I had the pleasure of serving as the Mistress of Ceremonies for the event.

It was nice to see his brothers and sisters together honoring their dad. We all wished his mom was well enough to attend the celebration.
We know many people our age who have lost one or both of their parents. We are truly blessed to have parents that are still with us.

Mesgana Dancers

Well, we've been waiting for 4 months...
While we wait for our referral we continue to read and learn about the beauty of the Ethiopian culture. I probably have more Ethiopian children's books than a native Ethiopian. On August 11, 2007, the day before our 18th wedding anniversary we went to see the Mesgana Dancers at George Washington University in DC. They were wonderful! Mesgana is the Amharic word for gratitude. Amharic is one of the many languages spoken in Ethiopia. The Mesgana dancers are a group of twelve students from the Children of Ethiopia Education Fund program. The COEEF is a non profit foundation that sponsors girls so they are afforded the opportunity to attend school. Opportunities for girls are limited in rural East Africa, epecially in education. Just think the amount of money we spend on one outfit will pay tutition, uniform and school supplies for a child for one year!

Enjoy the performance!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Wait, Wait, Waiting...

So how long will it take? The agency tells us that once our dossier is approved it takes anywhere from 6-8 months to get a referral. We have requested a male infant under 12 months old but we are open to twins or a sibling group of an infant and a child no older than 4. Once we receive a referral we wait for a travel date and clearance to fly to Ethiopia. While there, we will stay a week in the guest house connected to the orphanage.

So while we wait, we ask that you keep us in your prayers. We have been married for 18 years and this is truly going to change our lives. But we know who our strength comes from and we know that God has guided this entire process because only He could have made this decision possible for us.

Why Ethiopia??

Why not??

During the summer of 2006, we watched the movies Hotel Rwanda and the Constant Gardner. The visual images of the children left behind to fend for themselves for some reason touched our hearts and minds. Now it is not like we didn't know the plight of some of the children in Africa. We have seen the Feed the Children late night infomercials for years, and actually we usually turn the channel but for some reason this time, our hearts were touched. We started discussing the plight of the world’s orphans especially children in Africa. In July 2006 we went to an interest meeting at an international adoption agency. The agency happened to have a program in the African nation of Ethiopia.
In our research we found out that Ethiopia on average has more than 4.5 million orphans! Even though there are many children that need homes in the US, we felt the life circumstances of US born children give them a much better chance at even the most basic survival. In Ethiopia, orphaned, abandoned, or relinquished children may not have access to medical care or proper nutrition, and the potential outcomes for their lives are much more dire.
Not only was there a great need for adoptive parents but they are known for having a relatively straightforward and predictable adoption process, lower costs than other countries (even though none of the costs are low) and available infants. The process used to be faster but more and more people are choosing to adopt from Africa.

We have always heard- No Test~ No Testimony... and that is true. This decision on how to bring children into our lives was truly a TEST. For the test we are thankful because it caused us to stop focusing on the trivial things in life. ( Even though for one of us, it is still a tad bit hard to remember ~ it's not about me...

We truly believe God needed to bring His scriptures to life to draw us closer to Him. As we think about the birth parents that will allow us to raise their children we truly understand the unselfish nature of God when he gave his only begotten Son to us to save us from our sins.

Many people wonder but are afraid to ask… will the child be healthy? Is it possible the baby will be HIV+ or have AIDS?
When the babies are brought to the orphanage they are immediately tested for AIDS and other diseases (Hepatitis, etc.) and “quarantined” to secure the health of the other children in the orphanage. That blood work is repeated 3 months later for verification. In addition to that, parents can order independent tests to be analyzed by their pediatrician stateside. Yes, there are hundreds of thousands of children who do have AIDS in Africa, who are not being adopted. Once it is determined that a child is HIV positive, the child is taken to an AIDS orphanage. After malnutrition, the most commonly reported health problem in adoptable orphans is a simple stomach virus that can be treated with antibiotics and parasites .

Aren't there black children that need homes in the U.S.?

Yes, there are but we were not led to adopt in the United States.

In 2005 we started the adoption process with a public agency in our state through the foster care system. We attended months of classes and had begun the homestudy process. Each class discussed the situations we might encounter by adopting from the foster care system. Some of the children who are in foster care are children who have experienced abuse or neglect at the hands of their parents and have been removed from their homes. These days many single mothers decide to parent their children and we were told that it was unlikely that we get a child under the age of 2. The biggest “restriction” on parents adopting infants within the U.S. is that only 1.4 percent of pregnant, single women place their babies for adoption (National Survey of Family Growth, 2002). The majority of children in care available for adoption are 7 or older. The first priority of foster care is reunification of the child(ren) with the biological family, and children are frequently in foster care for two years before parental rights are terminated and children are available for adoption.

Domestic infant adoption through a private agency was another option, but it is quite competitive and these days there are far more families wanting to adopt than there are infant children. The process is quite different. Many agencies now advocate open adoptions where birth parents have regular contact with their children. Being first time parents, we didn’t particularly favor this option. Adoptive parents have to prepare Dear Birthmother letters/portfolios to win the hearts of a mother who wants to relinquish her child. This process is unpredictable , you are in competition with other families and ultimately the birthmother could change her mind.

Let the Adventure Begin!

After many years of prayer, we have decided to bring children into our home through adoption. This decision has taken over 5 years.

Through the years many have asked …"don’t you want children…when are you going to start a family.” Of course like most married couples, when we got married we both assumed that we would have children but, that day hasn’t come. Those who know me well, know that we contemplated for years over how to bring children into our house…to go the fertility route or not… both of us however, wanted children to be a part of our lives. It is truly amazing how God can change hearts and minds and bring two minds on one accord. Through these struggles, we learned a valuable lesson- it is not our will that controls things but HIS will and God had other plans for our lives. We are thankful to be blessed with a church family with a few members who have adopted beautiful children and after speaking with them on numerous occasions and praying much over the matter we made the decision to adopt.

In August of 2006, we made the decision to begin our family through an international adoption. We chose A.S.I.A, an affiliate of Children's Home Society and Family Services( CHSFS) as our adoption agency.

Our first step was to begin the application process. This involved the following:

Apply for an application to adopt with USCIS (formerly INS) called an I600A form ~Get fingerprinted for USCIS ~Start your application process and homestudy. A homestudy is basically an approval from social services that allows you to adopt. Submitting the application and going through the homestudy means you get fingerprinted and collect all sorts of documents like autobiographies that detail your entire life history, medical examination reports from your doctor, tax returns, financial statements, employment verification letters, proof of medical insurance, proof of life insurance, birth certificates and marriage certificates. They also ask for four references letters to be written by non-family members and one face to face interview with one of your references. Thanks to Marlene and Jimmy, Staci, Brenda and Don, and June and Rev. Ellis. Then, they have a social worker meet with you 4 times- 1st a joint interview, then private interviews and the last time is for an home inspection. We assembled all of the necessary paperwork for our application and it was accepted on January 10, 2007.

Our next step was to begin our homestudy/ w our social worker. Our joint interview was on January 27, 2007. My individual interview February 8, 2007 and his individual interview was on February 10, 2007 . Our home visit was on February 24, 2007 and our confidential reference interview was conducted with our pastor, Rev. Ellis, March 13, 2007. Our homestudy approval date was March 27, 2007.

Next it's on the dossier. It is very similar to the homestudy paperwork, but in more detail.
Every document has to be notarized and have a special seal by the Secretary of State. You have to be very careful in all of your dates. NOTHING can expire until the process and travel has been complete, or they will kick the whole dossier (collection of documents) right back at you. No exceptions. You have to make sure you choose a notary, social worker, homestudy agency and doctor whose license or commission does not expire until well after you plan on being home with your child(ren). The documents that we had to collect are as follows: *Petition to Adopt *I171-H (this is what the I600A turns into after you are approved by INS) * Notarized Completed Original Homestudy *Copy of Homestudy License * Copy of Social Worker’s License * Notarized State Police Clearance Letter * Notarized County Police Clearance Letter * Notarized Medical Clearance from Doctor *Notarized Verification of Employment Letters * Certified Marriage Certificates * Certified Birth Certificates *Copy of Passports *Notarized Power of Attorney –

When we walked into the bank to have all of these forms notarized they tried to service us at the counter but after seeing the piles of papers they took us to the back so we could sit at a desk.

When we have compiled all of our documents called the dossier, it is shipped to our agency for approval and then off to Ethiopian Embassy for translations and then off to Ethiopia.
Our Dossier was approved April 26, 2007.

Let the wait begin!